Tuesday, May 27, 2008

A Garage Sale and a Sunburn

Okay, so the garage sale hasn't happened yet, but the sunburn sure has! While in Oklahoma we went to a water park (I'd never been to one before...) and because it was such a cloudy day at first I neglected to put sunscreen on. Peter did as well. As I'm sure you can guess, it got sunny later on, and I got sunburned. Probably about an hour before we left, Mom said I was "pink" and that I should go put sunscreen on. I did, and I'm sure it helped. But I'm sunburned practically everywhere. My neck got away without any sun, and my face partially did. My shoulders did not, and neither did my back.

I discovered today that my left shoulder has formed some blisters on the sunburn. Ouch. I haven't been sunburned this badly before, and I don't think I'll forget sunscreen again this summer. Hopefully not next summer either.

Yesterday I spent most of the day helping Mom sort through garage sale stuff. A lot of people gave us leftovers from their garage sales, and we're so thankful to have pre-priced things! Since we have so much stuff, we took all the things we weren't sure would sell and sent them to Goodwill. Along with some things that Goodwill wouldn't be able to sell, which went into the trash. Even with all of our sorting, there's still a lot. We tackled one of our storing spots, and have a van-full of nice stuff. Now for the other two places. . . This garage sale is to raise money for my trip to Hong Kong. I already have around $1000 from donations, and we normally get at least $1000 from our garage sales. Prayer that it would go well would be appreciated. (I'll need around 33 hundred dollars for this trip)

Another noteworthy thing about yesterday is that we went to go watch Prince Caspian. I really enjoyed it. There were multiple deviations from the book, but it was still a good film.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Oklahoma City

We'll be going to OKC this weekend to visit Jonathan and Kelly. (My brother and his wife) I'm looking forward to this, as I miss seeing them and would like to know what their new home looks like. I also won't get to see them in June when everybody else gets to. . .I'll either be in El Paso or Hong Kong by that time. Which I'm looking forward to, but it'll be hard to not see so many family members that I haven't seen for a while. (Rachael and William, for instance. I haven't seen then since last December)

Dad finished reading Prince Caspian to my younger siblings last night, and this evening he started Voyage of the Dawn Treader. They seem to like it. (What else could be expected?)

This week has been a blur. Not the good kind of blur. My dreams have been exhausting, I've been thinking too much during the day, things that shouldn't have me worried do, and I spend about half the day wandering around the house wondering what to do or reading. Both fairly mindless activities. Although I have been getting things done the other half, they are done in the same mood.

I hesitate to post this, but I hate not being real. Normally I just don't post, but I do want to post today . . . and I guess I'm also posting it because I'd really appreciate prayer. These days have felt too much like last summer which was hard for me, and I fear falling again. I know I've changed a lot, but I also know I still hold on to feelings that create depression when they linger. For some reason they are something I want to grab a hold of and taste. My friend Cassie said recently (on her blog) that she tends to want to experince all feelings to their full, that made me pause and realize that I too do that. I want to taste the painful feelings and draw them out. Not a good thing, but something that's very real for me. I struggle with it.

I'm off to bed now. I hope you all have a blessed weekend!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

A Thousand Options

I have a dozen different things floating through my mind right now that I could write about. To be honest with you, I'm really not sure what I want to write about. I could write about some event and try to make it humorous, I could write about certain abstract nouns, I could write about a couple different topics on my mind, or I could even write about what I ate for breakfast. :P
Which, btw, was scrambled eggs. ;)

Maybe I'll write about a song. A song that has become important to me over the past few months.
Or maybe I won't. Instead I could write about a topic that keeps appearing here and there that I don't think I've written about on this blog. Odd, I haven't? Hmm... Maybe I'll have to fix that because it's a pet topic of mine.

My point is, there are so many different options and I'm not even sure I'll take any of them. I don't write in here as often as I could because I don't like decisions. Which topic to talk about and how to pull it out to its full potential is where my problem lies. Months ago I had two things I was thinking about, I know one of them was grace, and I don't know what the other one was. What happened after agonizing over it for hours? If I remember correctly, I didn't post either.

Above is a sample of my daily life thoughts. If you can see how it goes in loops and circles and arrives to some conclusions but keeps coming around to earlier things, you might be able to understand some of my thought patterns.

Now, which topic...?

Thursday, May 8, 2008


I have recently discovered how interested I am in theology. Our pastor has been teaching a class on Wednesday nights that is about how we got the bible. This has covered things like the canonization of the New Testament, the methods of translation, and many other areas. I unfortunately missed two of these classes. Often times we go into theological bunny trails. Although some find this needless, I’ve been finding myself more and more interested in them.

For those of you who didn’t already know this about me, I thrive on thought. Give me something to think about, facts to draw a conclusion, and somebody to talk about them with, and I’ll be occupied for a long time. That somebody to talk about them with can even be my journal! I prefer live people though ;). My first noted topic (I spent around three weeks intensively considering and discussing it before my mind let me drop it) was ‘masks’. I don’t mean the physical ones, I mean what people put up to hide their real self. That was back in the fall of ‘06. This side of me has since been developing more and more. Normally there is something I’m thinking about all the time, and sometimes I’ll find something that I’m really thinking about and then I’m plunged into constant thought for the next few days. My mom says I think too much. This is something I’ve been keeping in mind, and has resulted in my trying to moderate how much I ‘think’. Sitting around contemplating all day won’t do much good–action is important to daily life and sometimes it’s best not to dwell on things for too long.

That said, I’ll continue.

This class has opened up a new possibility to me. I never saw theology as something I could mull over. That may sound odd to you, but I think it’s because I never thought much about what studying theology would be like.

These bunny trails have given me a glimpse of what I might discover in theology. I have been considering theology has a major in college...luckily that’s still three years away, I don’t have to decide yet.

What worries me a little about the thought of digging into all these thought trains and beliefs and nit-picky differences is that my faith would become only a side taken and not a personal relationship ship with my Lord. Yet I think that is something that can be avoided, if I’m careful. Another danger would be pride. If I were to major in theology, one worry is that I would start to look at myself as more learned and think I’m better because I ‘understand more’ about my faith. Again though, I think that is something that can be avoided if I approach it in the right way.

All that said, I love these bunny trails. Especially last night’s one.

Pastor Bo went into how the term "Sinful Nature" comes with a whole theological background. From my understanding the best place to start would be the original sin.

When Adam fell, what happened? Pastor Bo detailed two different thoughts.

-That we gained something in the fall. That sin entered the world and that Adam’s original sin carries on to each of us. We are born guilty and already sinful.
-We lost something. With sin now between us and God, nothing is there to police our desires of the flesh that God placed in us. From there each of us sins by satisfying our flesh in the wrong ways.

I won’t tell you which one I agree with, since I haven’t fully decided myself. I haven’t had the chance to delve into it. I only know what my pastor said.

He did bring up that the first school of thought brings up the question of how Christ was sinless. Since we’re all guilty from birth, why wasn’t Jesus guilty from birth? The answer would involve the fact that he was born of a virgin. The second school of thought explains that he was still tempted, but didn’t sin because he never followed his fleshly desires in an incorrect way.

The term, "Sinful Nature", comes from the first belief.

This bunny trail has me thoroughly excited. To think! That discussion opened my mind to so many things I hadn’t thought about before and helped a few other things fall into place. That there are even more things like that out there waiting for me to stumble upon–This thrills me.