Tuesday, October 23, 2007

More about Camping

So I said I’d write about the camping trip today, which I will. But I thought I’d start with a question that I came up with Friday night, and talked about Saturday. I was also told it was a “blog question“.

Say there was this place you visited often with a friend, and at the place there was also a cliff that you knew was a long drop and had nothing to stop a fall at the bottom. Now, the place you often sat and talked at is in sight of the edge, but not so close as to see over the edge. My question is, is there anyone who if they told you that they wanted you to jump off the cliff that you would do it for? If you hadn't been to the edge that day and all they said was “Hey, I want you to go run and jump off that cliff. Just trust me.” … Now, don’t get me wrong, I do not think anybody has the right to say that except God, my question is only hypothetical.

Cassie said “I don’t know if I would be able to trust someone that much” Me? Well, I finally decided that there were some people who I trust enough. But I cannot imagine them even thinking of asking me to do that. The thing with me is, I don’t find it hard at all to trust people. That worries me at times, because I know many people have their trust betrayed and don‘t trust easily, but that hasn’t happened to me yet. Yet… it worries me because I don’t see how I can escape that much longer. Have I just been lucky? Is there a reason? I really don’t know. Because I trust easily, I often have a compulsion to pour my heart out to just about anybody. That’s been changing the past year, especially the past six (or so) months.

On to camping.

I mentioned that camping trips have recently become “un-fun”. That would be because of the trips changing, and me changing.

It used to be, I’d want to go camping, we’d go on a couple short hikes, go swimming a lot, play card games, row around in boats, make walking sticks, and other things. All of which I did because I wanted to, and I loved. It was great family time.

Then with Camila and Daniel things had to change. Lately when we’ve gone camping we’ve brought the motorboat and gone to nearby lakes. We’d go out in the boat, swim, play some card games, etc. I reacted badly to being around them constantly. I would get irritated, I started disliking boating, and card games because I didn’t like Daniel and Camila’s behavior. I would read all I could in the camper, try to get out of all boating trips, try to participate the least possible, etc. Except everything became mandatory, which I highly disliked. But I did still like swimming… Over all though, the trips were not fun.

The time before this recent one was good. I enjoyed it, had some great times with my siblings, and came back with a good view on it. Although I still read my books a lot I read less, which was good.

This time, Daniel and Camila had friends to play with all the time so I barely saw them. And when I did it was fine because they were in good moods. Before leaving I had been worried. I didn’t want to go. I figured better safe than sorry. In my opinion staying home would be safe. I know what to expect here, and I know when I’ll be able to hang out with friends. Camping, I had no clue whether I’d be forced into stuff I didn’t want to do, I didn’t know if there would be anybody I’d enjoy hanging out with, I just didn’t know how it would turn out. And going by past trips I decided it would probably turn out badly. Friday afternoon I found myself with free time so I went on a walk on campus because I needed to do something about the way I was feeling. I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate enough to talk with God if I were at home so I figured a walk would help. It did. I gave the trip to Him and basically said “do what You will, You know what would be best.” I said that down at the pond, I was surprised on the walk back how much lighter things seemed!

I’m telling you all this, why? So maybe you’ll understand why I didn’t expect it to be good, and why I was so glad it turned out well.

Saturday consisted mainly of hiking, swimming in freezing water during the middle of the hike, and resting afterwards. The swim was fun, it was where we stopped for lunch at a waterfall. Two of the men went in, then Gracie, then me, then Camila, then Avery. I almost didn’t go in after seeing Gracie’s shocked face. It was refreshing. I thought I’d regret it after I started hiking, but I didn’t. My clothes dried for the most part by the time we got back, and the kept me cool on the hike because they were wet. That day my brother and his two friends went up to the watch tower on Tall Mountain (The tallest mountain in the area, though not tall compared to other mountains in some places) and slept there. They said it was so windy the hardly got any sleep.

Sunday started out as a very lazy morning, by my dad started trying to get people together to go on a three mile hike to the top of Tall Mountain. Eventually we had most of the people going. Some drove up most of the way and then hiked on a road for one mile the rest of the way. Others, like my parents and me, hiked the three mile trail up. Once at the top all of us had lunch, and then everybody went down again. Needless to say, the group on the trail down was less than the group on the trail up. That was the trip I picked up a walking stick, which I soon was very glad of. After making a handle I’m now very pleased with it. I’ll have to remember it on other trips.

Sunday night it was the girls’ turn to sleep in the watcher tower. Mr. Walters went with Gracie, Mattie, and I so we would have some protection. It was windy, but I was able to sleep. In fact so soundly once I got to sleep that when Gracie tried to wake me up to look at the stars once the sky cleared up that I didn’t wake up! I find that amusing, since I normally am not hard to wake up.

Monday was mostly packing up. I was really worn out that day, emotionally; I hadn't been by myself hardly at all the whole trip because it didn't feel right when I was. And physically; it was a tiring trip! Due to being so worn out, I was glad to get home. It started sprinkling while we packed, and raining right as almost everyone was ready.

Sorry for the humongous post, if you read all that, I applaud you.

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